I recently went through an excellent training conducted by a doctor who is expert in NLP, TLT, Hypnosis, and applied behavioral sciences. It was very enlightening, eye-opener experience. Some of the learnings were:
Performance is when a person can utilize his competence at the right time, at the right place. Internal emotional state, and self management is required to perform when required. Whatever you hold in mind happens. Whatever you pay energy survives. Whatever you focus on expands. What you give is what you get, before you give, you receive. People who are willing to fail succeed, people who only want to succeed don’t. Our intention is the biggest power. Observer influences what is being observed.
The core instruments of operation (1) mind, (2) body and (3) brain. Two major parts of mind are (1) conscious and (2) subconscious minds. The conscious, or rational mind works based on the past experience. The subconscious, or intuitive mind is 8 times more powerful than conscious mind. All our learning and knowledge resides in the subconscious mind. People who use the power of their subconscious mind can achieve super success when compared with who don’t. Using only “conscious” mind is like using only one finger of your one hand rather than all the fingers together.
There are four major states of brain – Beta (15-40 cps), Alpha (9-14 cps), Theta (5-8 cps) and Delta (0.5-4 cps). The Alpha state is a state of “aware relaxation”. At the Alpha level you can re-program yourself and reap numerous advantages. To get into Alpha state, sit, close your eyes, relax. Take 5-7 rounds of deep breath, then breath normally. Begin counting backwards from 25-1, give 3-4 seconds interval between each count. Then bring your attention to breath, and do whatever mental programming you want to do. Come out of this state by counting 1-5, slightly stretch your body.
Sedona is a powerful method for releasing uncomfortable feelings. By learning to let go, we learn the art of being free from habitual tendencies of suppression or expression of emotion and go about living with more inner freedom and better choices. Suppressed feelings, blocked thinking impacts the quality of decision making, hence jeopardizing the quality of life. If you are not fully satisfied with what you already have or are today, then most probably you are sitting on many, many unprocessed feelings.
Two main methods of releasing/letting go – (1) Could I welcome it now? Welcoming is essence means remaining open to what is. Welcoming means remaining aware of all these internal and external feelings and let them pass without your conscious interference. (2) Focus inward on the ‘now’ feeling – how am I feeling now? Could I allow myself to welcome this feeling? Could I let this feeling go? Would I let this feeling go? Would I rather have this feeling or would I rather be free? When?
Being an executive means doing 5 things regularly (1) Planning, (2) Organizing, (3) Directing / Leading / Coordinating, (4) Review/feedback, (5) Coaching/Training.
Get rid of disruptive thoughts that does not allow you to do the job, use powerful techniques to switch-off the background jobs of our mind. Get into alpha state, allow any thoughts that are are coming, ‘let it go’ and the disruptive thoughts will come and go. Just let it go. You’ll be left with focused thoughts.
Goal setting is simple (1) write down the goals, (2) visualize / picture you already achieved the goal, as crystal clear as possible. To know the best way to achieve a goal, ask your subconscious mind.
Time is impartial. It is available to each one in the same measure, at the same speed. Once gone it does not come back for anyone ever. It is up to you how you manage your speed, execution and focus to take maximum out of it. For proper time management, (1) decide goals, (2) plan activities, allocate time, (3) execute plan, manage distractions and disruptions as mentioned above, (4) keep 20% time free for crisis., (5) keep time from transition from activity X to Y. So it is (Plan + time + 20% buffer time + transition time).
Four pillars of success & well living are (1) health, (2) relationships, (3) self development and (4) wealth. Never take your health for granted. Never take any relationship for granted. Expand your ability to remain employable. Remember – “Jho patthar diwar banane ke kam pe ata hain, woh sarak pe para hua kabhi nahi milega“. If you are capable, there are always takers.
Three pillars of rapport (1) trust, (2) understanding, (3) comfort. Lack of rapport invites resistance, opposition, disobedience and argument. Four techniques to build rapport (1) listen, pay full attention, (2) begin to share, (3) appreciate, (4) match and mirror. Building rapport is building comfort.
The best way to start – how can I make my today better than my yesterday? Leaders need to ask right question. Right question gives you ‘focus’ and power on your head. If you are proactive, you are creating the situation, else you are reacting to an existing situation. What is intuition? Intuition is wisdom based on theory and practice.
RANT (role analysis and negotiation technique) is a powerful method to help managers and subordinates to achieve desired levels of performance, improve team working, quality of feedback and review process. Key steps – managers makes two lists (1) the activities he expects from subordinates while pursuing his KRAs (2) what he thinks the subordinate expects from him. The subordinate also makes two lists (1) activities he thinks manager expects him to do (2) what he expects from manager. Then both share the list, discuss and agree on activities and behaviors. Both agree on the feedback mechanism in case someone deviates from the agreed list. Both set approximate time frame for next review. Ambiguous terms not allowed.
3 step communication process (1) what is the outcome you want? How do you want the person to think, feel and do – after you communicate? (2) create structure, you can only create structure only if the outcome is clear (3) modify the structure by repeating, using alpha state, in different posture. Editing shows you are being sensitive, and you are using your intelligence and wisdom. Once you are skilled, the sequence can be (1) outcome (2) alpha state (3) structure (4) alpha state (5) modify. Be aware of hidden message, choice of words, tone of voice and body language. You can be firmly gentle. I am okay, you are okay. Whenever you have to say ‘No’ to anyone, use 3 step C-P.
For feedback, rapport is essential. The person must be willing to receive it. The BIDI process of giving feedback (1) behavior (2) impact (3) desired behavior (4) impact of desired behavior. Before sharing your feedback, get into alpha state. Feedback should always be one-on-one. After feedback, you must listen to that person’s feelings. Lead it to a discussion. Important – person, sensitivity, time and place.
Assertive people make requests, and they are okay if the request is denied. Maintain eye contact, smile, speak slow, smooth tone, dramatic voice, firm, silence, consultive – doctor style. Assertiveness is (1) share / listen what others / you want and why (2) listen / share what you / others want and why (3) offer suggestions for mutually acceptable solutions.
Effectively delegate (1) identify the task (2) identify the person (3) why do you want to delegate (4) why the identified person (5) what are his competencies for this task (6) what habit may prevent him (7) what support he may need (8) arrange a meeting. During meeting (1) explain the task & complexity (2) discuss and fix timeline (3) set up review process.
As a leader – don’t answers people’s question. Ask him “what do you think should be done?” Motivate them to generate ideas. Make them think. At the best, give him a lead. On inappropriate answer, ask him “what do you think should be the consequences?”
Secret of life – peace, joy and love. Aware of everything always.