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My Lesson

There are four ways, and only four ways, in which we have contact with the world. We are evaluated and classified by these four contacts: what we do, how we look, what we say, and how we say it.

Your relationships depends on your communication, interpersonal and people skills. Your life & distiny depends on your relationships.

Remember – 3 main rules . Be friendly. Display positive expression. Avoid conflict.

  1. If you want to be enthusiastic, act enthusiastic. Does your expression tell the world to leave you alone or that you’re friendly and approachable? Take acting class if required, but for heaven sake – be friendly.
  2. We live in narcissistic society. We always try to prove that we are smarter than others. Avoid doing this, ignore when others do it. Be an encourager and an affirmer. Show respect. Be humble. Show your appreciation. Remember every name.
  3. Care about and encourage each other. Be a kind person. Put their needs ahead of your own. Do sacrifice sometime, for greater good.
  4. Resist the urge to be original with each person you meet. Avoid conflict. When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion. Keep away your strong opinions. People are happy to talk about topics where less effort is involved. Focus on your similarities. If you are like them, they’ll probably like you more. They’ll listen to you more. They’ll confide in you more. Even if you have a scant one percent commonality, focus 100 percent of your conversation on that commonality when you can.
  5. Create an environment where people are relaxed in your presence and feel comfortable talking to you. Ease into tougher discussions—warm-up to them—rather than being so direct. And always show them you are paying attention. Be genuine, transparent, accepting, and loving.
  6. Always keep your cool. Absolutely no no to heated discussions, at any cost, about anything, with anyone. Relationship first! You don’t need a heated discussion, there are other better ways.
  7. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it. Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving. See the innocence.
  8. Apologize. Just say it. Repeat after me: “I…was…wrong. I’m…sorry.”
  9. Never, ever gossip—ever. Many people don’t even realize they’re doing it, bonding with someone by tarnishing someone else’s reputation. That’s gossip, plain and simple. If what you’re about to say undermines the reputation of someone who’s not in the conversation, think first about why you’re really saying it. Then, in most cases, bite your lip.
  10. You hear but you don’t listen! Be a good listener, and put some empathy in it.
  11. People love to talk about their interests, so give them the opportunity to do so.
  12. Don’t interrupt when someone is speakin, and never complete their thought for them either. These behaviors infuriate most people. If you have this problem, then “Shut up and listen”! Don’t fight for airtime.
  13. Do everything without complaining or arguing. Offer potential solutions when you identify problems, or say nothing at all.
  14. Don’t communicate when you’re angry. Sometimes it’s unavoidable, but often it’s not. Most of us do an exceedingly poor job of making our point clear when our brains are clouded by anger. And then we get even angrier—at ourselves for not communicating well—spiraling the problem. Just step away and take a break.
  15. Never send an email when you’re mad. Same rule, different venue. If you send it, your diatribe will be on record for all posterity!
  16. Make self-examination a habit. Where can I improve? What’s working and what’s not? Reflect on your people skills often and then find ways to improve on your weaknesses.

If you’re serious about “perfecting” your people skills, there’s no shortcut. Unless you are natuarally talented and or got a supporting mentor, you’ll probably make lot of social blunders too may times. Only awareness & practice will make you better.

Here is one nice link I liked: click here.


About Bikramjit

Please read a more interesting introduction at "About Me" section. I am an abstract thinker who is fun to watch in action. I not only generate new & better ideas for how things can be improved, but I also offer empowering courage to pursue them. I am exceptionally encouraging & motivating, and sometimes help others to reach their goals & dreams. People probably see me as a good mentor due to my patience and talent for giving direction. I am more expressive than introspective, more deliberate than spontaneous, more passionate than composed – and an assertive personality who does not hesitate to challenge anything in life!


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